The one where it was reported in the newspaper that a girl was molested openly at the countdown party, by four men but no one seemingly came to her rescue? Well the article below, would explain the situation much more clearly.
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/3552/4136/300696
In the article, they said that 'no one was there to help her but yet were taking photos and videos of the incident'?
Well personally, i feel that this is absolutely outrageous as if you the people present there thought it was such a bad act that they could whip out their cameraphones to take what was happening, down in a video, well why could they not just went up stage to the podium to help the girl? Furthermore, since i was at the siloso countdown party itself, i know that the beach was rather crowded but there were no secluded areas where the peopler could get 'raped' in a sense as there was people everywhere and if someone wanted to stop such an act of travesty, they could have.
So, i went to research on further online and guess what I found?
Pictures of the girl looking like she was actually enjoying the guys touching her, which the molest article had happily left out.
See, does she look like she was unhappy or that she was being molested? NO.
This just shows sometimes due to nonverbal communication and due to people's own social contruct of others, there could be misunderstandings of such. Just because the girl was seen dancing with four foreign workers, people immediately assumed that the foreign workers were molesting her and that she was in a plight.
Firstly, if she did not want to be caught in such a situation, why was she scantily-clad in just her G-string and bra in the first place? Does it give a respectful girl vibe to you? I think not. Dont you think because of the way she was clothed she was inviting and sending out wrong signals thru her non-verbal communication to the guys at the party?
Secondly, just because she was surrounded by a group of foreign workers who were grinding her, that does not mean you can immediately perceive the situation as her being molested just by associating the foreign workers with molest and treating them as communication artifacts?
This shows that the usage of non-verbal communication is very subjecive in terms of the how the person who sees or receives the communication, perceives it.
So what do you think about this article and whats your take on it?
Please do comment, thanks!
On a matter of morals, all men, no, all human beings should respect one another's private space. One's body is their private space and no matter what the person is wearing, naked or not, they should not have the right to violate their personal space.
ReplyDeleteThe girl's dressing and behavior may be slightly inappropriate and she may have sent off wrong signals through that. However, this should not be the reason why we do not blame the men for their acts.
If you say that her dressing caused the men to act like that, that is saying all men as sexual beasts and women have to wear long sleeves in order to prevent this from happening. Women have to go out with longer skirts and blouses, so as not to be molested.
I think something else caused the men to act like this and that is their own lack of moral respect.
No matter how skimpily clad the girl dresses, unless she has given her approval, no one should touch her.
That being said, I have to agree that we cannot easily put the blame on either side of the party in this case. Non-verbal communication, i.e. pictures and videos in this case is very subjective and thus we cannot conclude who is to blame. We can say that her non verbal cues were sending off wrong signals to the people at the party. We can say that she looked happy. We can also say that she looked upset in the video of her struggling.
But we cannot know the truth, the real details and what exactly went on there. We will not know unless we speak to the girl herself.
What we see may not always be the real thing, it's a matter of context and perspective.
I agree with the author that the articles and evidence points towards non-verbal communication being subjective. Furthermore, the use of non-verbal communication devices is not a strong determining factor in seeking the truth of this case. Other reliable factors such as speaking to the girl in the question would most definitely be of a more viable display of evidence.
ReplyDeleteAs seen in the STOMP article, from my personal viewpoint, it articulates a display of immoral behaviour by the foreign men and the girl being a victim. On the other hand, as seen in the picture provided from the author, the girl in question does not seem to be in any form of distress. Hence from the aforementioned evidence, it is hard to understand the truth of the incident as personally I think that both the author's evidence and the STOMP article have varying displays of non-verbal illustrations.
Therefore as quoted from the author "the usage of non-verbal communication is very subjecive in terms of the how the person who sees or receives the communication, perceives it". In addition, non-verbal communication should not be the only determing factor for the truth of the whole incident at the siloso countdown.
everyone's a critic, so before any conclusion,
ReplyDeletejudgments are fixed. in first glance,
it is the man whose at fault for touching
the 'woman' but who knows maybe she was
grinding the man? not saying it aint the man's fault.
but it is always something that triggers man's sex drive?
look at how she is dressed. it obviously looks 'inviting'
doesn't it? as though she wants to show the whole world
her 'stuff' and of course men included. would be tempted
to touch her. and so this gets onto the paper. and the man
gets the blame.personally, i find it unfair as this could
be due to mutual attraction. but no matter what it always takes
2 hands to clap. well, most of the time C;
was she really considered scantily clad when she's at a beach party?maybe she was under the influence of alcohol?is the way she dance inappropriate?i see it all the time in clubs.was she seeking attention by dancing on the platform?i know of some friends who like to dance on club platforms just because they like it, and not to attract attention. so were her actions communicating the wrong message to the guys?i don't think so.
ReplyDeleteno matter what the situation is, the guys should not have taken advantage of the situation, unless for some wierd reason the lady wanted all that 'attention' so in this case, i dun think that the lady is much at fault for giving the wrong signal. it was more like the men's hormones were just raging!
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ReplyDeleteWhen you go to a certain place you should expect certain things to happen. You go to a club, you should expect to encounter drunk people trying to fill you up. You go to a beach party in such an outfit, you should be a imbecile to not know what guys would have on their mind. Let's cut the bullshit about right and wrong and morals. We are ruled by our hormones and that's the truth. That being said, this seems like a classic case of false accusations and generalisations. I have been told that the girl had her friends with her. If she was really being molested as every one claimed, she could have got reinforcement from her friends and moved away. She didnt, did she? Or at the very least, she could have shouted "HELP, IM BEING MOLESTED".. Again, she didnt did she? Come on, if you dont want to get touched by people at the siloso new year count down party... do what i did, stay at home with your loved ones. :)
ReplyDeleteIt does not matter what kind of outfit the lady was in. The guys should have some basic discipline in themselves and not act in such an impulse manner. Most importantly, the guys should have some basic respect for that particular lady.
ReplyDeleteWell, for men, the sexual persuit area of the brain is 2.5 times larger than the females, and there is a huge production of testosterone beginning in their teens (20 to 25 times more than pre-adolescence) This causes the immense sexual drive in men, leading to never ending thoughts about female body parts and sex. The men were driven by this desire for sexual gratification which led them to defy socially acceptable norms and molest this woman (or man in some reports) Her initial indifference to the situation exacerbated the situation, causing them to become even more daring and go over the "horniness edge"
ReplyDeleteTl;Dr : Men are beasts
That being said im sure a ton of people felt like she should be helped, but didnt because of "shared responsibility"
In a small group (say 2 - 3 people) if something wrong happens, there is a natural urge to correct this wrong (call it conscience or morals or whatever, I call it mental conditioning) and because of this small number of people, someone is more likely to take action because the responsibility is shared among these few people. However, in a much larger group, the responsibility is still shared out, and each persons share of it becomes smaller. This generally leads to thoughts like, "someone else will do it" or "there is no reason for me to do anything since no one else is" therefore its less likely any action will be taken.
Thus no one helped, even when she was obviously trying to push them away.
Countdown parties are definitely fun because you get to meet a lot of people and dance all your worries and trouble away. However, ladies risk being like the girl mentioned. Well, i'm not saying ladies shouldn't attend but so take extra caution especially when there are people out there who attend these event just to take advantage. A word of advice, if possible "AVOID" such event:)
ReplyDeletePeople say that she looks like she is enjoying it way more than she is not. Such comments are more than accurate. Why? Simply because everything about her body language screams nothing more than her indulgent in the "fun". She is seen smiling and dancing, even while she is being touched all over.
ReplyDeleteBody language speaks, at times, much more than the verbal language. If it does not match, our body language can give us away and signal a "lie".
In this instance, I feel that she is really in no position to sound victimized.
Well, there are a lot of dubious issues in that case, but I feel that if a person wanted to join in such crowded party, then he/she should consent to the possibility of being 'touched', whether intentionally or not, by others. If the girl mentioned was really molested, she would have called for help (unless she's drunk or drugged).
ReplyDeleteNonetheless, if people bother to take pictures and videos of the incident, obviously they sense something is amiss and should really do something bout it. Talk about a gracious society.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really sticky topic as it puts u into a moral dilemma on whether to side with the girl or with the foreign workers.
Well instincts would tell most of us to side with the girl, as chasity is of utmost importance to any girl. However i think the most disturbing thing about this incident was the reaction of Singaporeans. Instead of trying to rescue the girl, they whipped out their hps instead! Hats off to the future generation of Singapore. Im disgusted. Although the girl might have actually 'enjoyed' it(this is a matter of perspective and perception), as human beings, Singaporeans have failed to display empathy. Well all said and done, it is not surprising that this is happening, looking at the attitudes of the youth these days, be in Singapore or elsewhere.
it's quite apparent that she was welcoming these actions and i read before that "she was asking for it" by being on the stage and grinding with those men, who unfortunately happened to be foreign workers. perhaps some women felt strongly about the morality of this scene and decided to make a big deal out of this
ReplyDeleteYup, from here we can definitely see that what we see and hear may not be entirely be the truth because these sources may be biased at their very core. And it just made me realise that non-verbal communication plays a big part of how we perceive things and situations. For example we can see how body language plays a larger role than verbal words in a conversation. In this case, the picture of the lady in STOMP looked distressed thus readers immediately linked her to be the victim, even though it isn't the truth at all.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, our inner sterotypes of people definitely affect our judgement and that is precisely the reason why people associated these foreign workers with crime or the ones in the wrong, even though they may not have any direct connection with one another.
Some people say that the girl deserved it. I guess that would be very evil of us to say such a thing. But if the girl did really feel violated at the end of they day, she will learn not her lesson and to be dressed in a less eye-grabbing attire. And for the guys, if they were out to take advantage of her without her consent, im sure they would not do it in front of everyone and most definitely not up on an podium where recorded evidence could be taken.
ReplyDeleteIt takes two to clap. The men wouldn't have done anything if she didn't do anything to trigger their hormones.
ReplyDeleteIt's appalling how the people surrounding them could just whip out their phones and started recording and taking pictures. No humanity indeed. But I guess we can't just blame them like that as I'm sure, this is the bystander effect taking place. Each member of the public thinks than another person will report the matter, so they do nothing to help.
I'm ashamed to think that we all have the capability to act like so.